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Wounded 8-Year Old In Adult Clothes

Wounded 8-Year Old In Adult Clothes
October 06
01:01 2015

Hello Everyone,

 

Have you ever interacted with someone whom you thought was acting childish and unreasonable and thought to yourself “would you please grow up and act your age?”  Have you ever wondered why adults behave so immaturely at times?

 

The reason why an otherwise rational adult suddenly reverts to behaving like a child is because something that was said or done, triggered an old wound in them that was (more often than not) created in their childhood.

 

Most people have heard about “healing the inner child” whether they have sought out professional counseling or not. Before I began assisting people in healing their forgiveness issues, whenever I heard someone talk about healing their inner child, I would question why one would spend so much time digging around in their past when clearly it’s today they are having the challenge with?  Many years and many clients later, I quickly understood why counselors and therapists spend so much time inquiring about the early formative years for it is during this time when foundational beliefs and decisions are created and where traumas are entrenched. In other words, if the child in you doesn’t get healed, then the adult “you” won’t either.

 

The reason we are the way we are, goes back to our very survival.  The need to be loved,wanted, accepted and safe is so innate that anything that threatens the status quo causes great distress and fear.

 

There are many things that can set these fears in motion such as feelings of abandonment caused by a death of a loved one or pet, a parent moving away due to divorce or one who leaves and travels frequently. Feelings of rejection are found in many who were given up for adoption, even if the adoptive parents were better qualified as parents and are more loving and kind. The same goes for children who were placed in foster care. Even when a parent gives a child up for reasons that are in the best interest of the child, how the child interprets that (consciously or not) is, if my own parent/mother doesn’t want me, I must be unlovable. This isn’t true of course but it is often what a young child makes it mean. It is this decision/meaning we create in our minds that causes the hurt which we carry with us the rest of our lives, leaving a wounded child to walk around in adult clothes later on.

 

If you are wondering how painful events from your childhood may be effecting you now, think back to a time when someone (usually a parent, teacher, coach or other authority) said or did something that to this day has left a lasting impression with you.  It could be something as “benign”as a comment such as “you’ll never amount to anything,” or “you’re stupid, lazy” etc.  Someone may have physically or sexually abused you. Unhealed traumas run very deep leaving a trail of pain in their wake.  A question I ask that often gets to the root of a client’s unhealed past is, “If you had your life to live over,what person or event would you just soon leave out?”  This question usually leads one right to the person, event or comment they need to heal most.

 

In order to thrive, we must feel loved and safe. Most of us were born healthy, happy,loving, and trusting children.  We remain this way until an event occurs that alters this way of being.  Loss of childhood innocence threatens our understanding of life as we once knew it. Our view of a kind and supportive world is dashed and in its place distrust,unpredictability and danger now lurk. Unfortunately, most never heal their inner child and live out their adult years in pain over an event they do not realize is impacting their life today.

 

All around are wounded 8-year-olds walking around in adult clothes.  Rather than judge their ‘less than adult’ behavior, understand they, like the rest of us, have unhealed aspects yet to address.  It is so much easier to feel compassion toward one another knowing we are all still ‘children at heart’ who simply want and need to be LOVED.

 

May your week be blessed.

 

Peace and Love~

Pamela Gregory

Founder, ForgivenessHealing Humanity

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Testimonials

Harry E. Shade

"I have had the opportunity to work with Pamela involving resolving some issues I had with my father around the issue of forgiveness. With Pamela's guidance, I was able to come to terms with how my father and I interacted as father and son and forgive both him and myself for any held onto resentment. She was able to help me find a peace around this issue that I had not been able to find before. Her compassionate nature and loving energy, along with her immense knowledge and skills in guiding me through the process were exactly what I needed to resolve this issue. I highly recommend her should anyone need assistance in finding the peace that only true forgiveness can unlock."


"We were also very fortunate to have her as a guest on Marvelous Mondays with Harry & Phil on several occasions, each time of which, she provided our listeners with timely and insightful knowledge around the issue of forgiveness and how it can bring balance and serenity when it comes to body, mind, and spirit. She is an amazing asset to all who have the honor and privilege to work with and know her!"

Private Client, Blog Talk Radio Host, USA

5.0
2015-11-17T14:54:12+00:00

Private Client, Blog Talk Radio Host, USA

“I have had the opportunity to work with Pamela involving resolving some issues I had with my father around the issue of forgiveness. With Pamela’s guidance, I was able to

Maria Teresa Rivera

“I met Pamela in 2010, when I was searching for self-help on the internet and read about Forgiveness Healing on her website. It goes without saying her teachings to me of EFT helped me immensely but Pamela’s teachings are ever evolving and get better each time. She helped me look at my pure self and discover things I am capable of doing, I never knew about. All with a simple message of love. I cannot wait to have access to her workshops and be able to share this simple thought of forgiveness with even more people. I now consider Pamela a very dear friend.”

RPh, CGP, Private Client, USA

5.0
2015-10-20T08:19:48+00:00

RPh, CGP, Private Client, USA

“I met Pamela in 2010, when I was searching for self-help on the internet and read about Forgiveness Healing on her website. It goes without saying her teachings to me

Janice Walsh

"Off and on throughout the past few years, I've come to Pamela for redirection, rebalancing and a sense of finding the inner me, my soul space where love and happiness waits for me...Pamela has aided me and supported me in this journey with safety, love and respect. I still listen to a program of forgiveness she made for those struggling with a wounded heart. A one time pain felt so intensely that it almost paralyzed me; I stumbled across Pamela's website and with Pamela's support I have been able to sit with the pain, experience the pain, let it go and continue on with love and lightness..a wonderful gift and I thank her for her love, dedication and knowledge."

Private Client, USA

5.0
2015-11-20T14:47:04+00:00

Private Client, USA

“Off and on throughout the past few years, I’ve come to Pamela for redirection, rebalancing and a sense of finding the inner me, my soul space where love and happiness

Celeste Florio

“I went to Utopia Wellness in June 2012 for alternative treatment for breast cancer. One big part of my healing process was helping me deal with emotions and situations that happened in my life. Pam, my therapist, was so informative, inspiring and caring. She helped me address issues that were detrimental to my healing and being cancer free. I learned so much from Pam about how to deal with everyday life, that you could not ask for anyone better.”

Utopia Wellness Patient, USA

5.0
2015-10-20T08:13:59+00:00

Utopia Wellness Patient, USA

“I went to Utopia Wellness in June 2012 for alternative treatment for breast cancer. One big part of my healing process was helping me deal with emotions and situations that

Randy Singer

"For many decades, I harbored deep resentment to organized sports and all those who participated in them. It had hampered my social experiences with those situations and also did not feel comfortable around those who made sports their profession or passion.  Until I met Pamela, I did not realize that the hatred I felt was in retaliation for the relationship I had with my father. My father was an arm-chair sports fanatic. He would watch sports day and night and never, ever, played with his children or even conversed with us.  Once you showed me that, I was able to heal my relationship with sports and my father as well.  My father knew no better……I also consider him my greatest teacher.  I generally just do the opposite of whatever he would have done and that would be THE RIGHT THING to do.  Now, when I see sports, I no longer recoil in horror and anger.  They say anything to its extreme produces the opposite effect. So even though I am not an advocate of organized sports (or religion, etc), I no longer feel those ancient feelings of hatred again.


Thank you for helping me be FREE."




Private Client, USA

5.0
2015-11-20T14:18:56+00:00

Private Client, USA

“For many decades, I harbored deep resentment to organized sports and all those who participated in them. It had hampered my social experiences with those situations and also did not feel
5.0
5

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