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Wounded 8-Year Old In Adult Clothes

Wounded 8-Year Old In Adult Clothes
October 06
01:01 2015

Hello Everyone,

 

Have you ever interacted with someone whom you thought was acting childish and unreasonable and thought to yourself “would you please grow up and act your age?”  Have you ever wondered why adults behave so immaturely at times?

 

The reason why an otherwise rational adult suddenly reverts to behaving like a child is because something that was said or done, triggered an old wound in them that was (more often than not) created in their childhood.

 

Most people have heard about “healing the inner child” whether they have sought out professional counseling or not. Before I began assisting people in healing their forgiveness issues, whenever I heard someone talk about healing their inner child, I would question why one would spend so much time digging around in their past when clearly it’s today they are having the challenge with?  Many years and many clients later, I quickly understood why counselors and therapists spend so much time inquiring about the early formative years for it is during this time when foundational beliefs and decisions are created and where traumas are entrenched. In other words, if the child in you doesn’t get healed, then the adult “you” won’t either.

 

The reason we are the way we are, goes back to our very survival.  The need to be loved,wanted, accepted and safe is so innate that anything that threatens the status quo causes great distress and fear.

 

There are many things that can set these fears in motion such as feelings of abandonment caused by a death of a loved one or pet, a parent moving away due to divorce or one who leaves and travels frequently. Feelings of rejection are found in many who were given up for adoption, even if the adoptive parents were better qualified as parents and are more loving and kind. The same goes for children who were placed in foster care. Even when a parent gives a child up for reasons that are in the best interest of the child, how the child interprets that (consciously or not) is, if my own parent/mother doesn’t want me, I must be unlovable. This isn’t true of course but it is often what a young child makes it mean. It is this decision/meaning we create in our minds that causes the hurt which we carry with us the rest of our lives, leaving a wounded child to walk around in adult clothes later on.

 

If you are wondering how painful events from your childhood may be effecting you now, think back to a time when someone (usually a parent, teacher, coach or other authority) said or did something that to this day has left a lasting impression with you.  It could be something as “benign”as a comment such as “you’ll never amount to anything,” or “you’re stupid, lazy” etc.  Someone may have physically or sexually abused you. Unhealed traumas run very deep leaving a trail of pain in their wake.  A question I ask that often gets to the root of a client’s unhealed past is, “If you had your life to live over,what person or event would you just soon leave out?”  This question usually leads one right to the person, event or comment they need to heal most.

 

In order to thrive, we must feel loved and safe. Most of us were born healthy, happy,loving, and trusting children.  We remain this way until an event occurs that alters this way of being.  Loss of childhood innocence threatens our understanding of life as we once knew it. Our view of a kind and supportive world is dashed and in its place distrust,unpredictability and danger now lurk. Unfortunately, most never heal their inner child and live out their adult years in pain over an event they do not realize is impacting their life today.

 

All around are wounded 8-year-olds walking around in adult clothes.  Rather than judge their ‘less than adult’ behavior, understand they, like the rest of us, have unhealed aspects yet to address.  It is so much easier to feel compassion toward one another knowing we are all still ‘children at heart’ who simply want and need to be LOVED.

 

May your week be blessed.

 

Peace and Love~

Pamela Gregory

Founder, ForgivenessHealing Humanity

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Maria Teresa Rivera

“I met Pamela in 2010, when I was searching for self-help on the internet and read about Forgiveness Healing on her website. It goes without saying her teachings to me of EFT helped me immensely but Pamela’s teachings are ever evolving and get better each time. She helped me look at my pure self and discover things I am capable of doing, I never knew about. All with a simple message of love. I cannot wait to have access to her workshops and be able to share this simple thought of forgiveness with even more people. I now consider Pamela a very dear friend.”

RPh, CGP, Private Client, USA

5.0
2015-10-20T08:19:48+00:00

RPh, CGP, Private Client, USA

“I met Pamela in 2010, when I was searching for self-help on the internet and read about Forgiveness Healing on her website. It goes without saying her teachings to me

Susan P.

"I met Pamela in one of the most difficult times of my life, going trough a divorce and much more.  Working with Pamela was one of the biggest blessings and support at that time.  Her compassion, dedication and therapeutic methods helped me enormously to heal and recover.  She is so dedicated and so empowering.  She helped make me feel like myself again and explore my feelings and let the anger and fears go.  She helped renew my spirit in different ways.  I don’t have enough words to thank Pamela for the job we did together and how much she helped heal and be happy again!"

Private Client, USA

5.0
2015-11-20T14:40:36+00:00

Private Client, USA

“I met Pamela in one of the most difficult times of my life, going trough a divorce and much more.  Working with Pamela was one of the biggest blessings and support

Angus Taylor

“Following a really bad cancer prognosis back in early 2010 a close friend of mine introduced me to Pamela. We worked over the phone on various occasions with me being based in the UK and Pamela in the USA. Pamela is one of those truly special people. Authentic, warm, sincere, caring and with huge integrity and sincerity. Despite the very dire outlook provided by the lovely people in white coats – who advised I would be lucky to see out 2010 – I am still here – never did  chemo or radiation – I just changed everything else.  The everything else included working through quite a lot of emotional baggage with Pamela which I truly believe was helpful in the process of my well being. I wholeheartedly recommend Pamela and am sure you would too."

Private Client, London, UK

5.0
2015-11-20T14:51:38+00:00

Private Client, London, UK

“Following a really bad cancer prognosis back in early 2010 a close friend of mine introduced me to Pamela. We worked over the phone on various occasions with me being

Randy Singer

"For many decades, I harbored deep resentment to organized sports and all those who participated in them. It had hampered my social experiences with those situations and also did not feel comfortable around those who made sports their profession or passion.  Until I met Pamela, I did not realize that the hatred I felt was in retaliation for the relationship I had with my father. My father was an arm-chair sports fanatic. He would watch sports day and night and never, ever, played with his children or even conversed with us.  Once you showed me that, I was able to heal my relationship with sports and my father as well.  My father knew no better……I also consider him my greatest teacher.  I generally just do the opposite of whatever he would have done and that would be THE RIGHT THING to do.  Now, when I see sports, I no longer recoil in horror and anger.  They say anything to its extreme produces the opposite effect. So even though I am not an advocate of organized sports (or religion, etc), I no longer feel those ancient feelings of hatred again.


Thank you for helping me be FREE."




Private Client, USA

5.0
2015-11-20T14:18:56+00:00

Private Client, USA

“For many decades, I harbored deep resentment to organized sports and all those who participated in them. It had hampered my social experiences with those situations and also did not feel

Guy Harvey

"Pamela was the first person that truly taught me how to use forgiveness to heal deep unresolved issues in my life. Forgiveness practices are the cornerstone of any healing regime and Pamela is master of this field. I am grateful to Pamela, it was life changing experience working with her."

Life Spirit Guide, USA
5.0
2015-11-17T14:50:10+00:00
Life Spirit Guide, USA
“Pamela was the first person that truly taught me how to use forgiveness to heal deep unresolved issues in my life. Forgiveness practices are the cornerstone of any healing regime
5.0
5

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